Being an Ambivert

Google says that ambivert means 'a person who has a balance of extrovert and introvert features in their personality.' I consider myself as an ambivert, which is a good thing, I suppose. Most of my friends say that I seem like a person who has a lot of friends, approachable, attentive in a conversation, smiles a lot, etc etc. They are not wrong of course, but like an introverted person, I also need the quality-me-time. Recently, the introvert side of me is dominating, maybe because all my lecture classes had ended in the last block, so now I only spend most of the day working on the reports and fangirling (over BTS, thanks to Zia and Andhani). Weird combination, but it exists lol. Anyway, my introverted side loves to work anywhere that is full of people, whether it's in a chatty area (i.e. canteen/cafe) or silent one (i.e. library), as long as they're not talking to me. (I think) I enjoy the presence of the others (read: human), but at the same time, I want to be alone. It feels different if you're really alone, physically. I tried that many times, and it is impossible to concentrate at all. Moreover, when you have an excellent wifi connection. At least, if you have many people around, you won't waste your time in youtube for 2 hours every 15 minutes (yes, it is possible). Another bit, ever since I live in the Netherlands, cycling aimlessly, strolling in the park and wandering around winkelcentrum became my habits. Those are my healing activities, going solo in public places.

Now, the extroverted side. Here goes a confession: I actually miss my classmates a lot. Like, a lot. Not missing the person (ehm), but I just get used to having them around at least 4 days a week. Bianca and I meet almost routinely at Pampalini (our favorite hanging spot), sometimes with Sara and Irene, but that's it. My Utrecht's inner circle only have 4 members in it. Otherwise, I devote my time in one of those study landscapes in Uithof and have a lunch break with Nisa, Cempaka, or sometimes mas Aan or mas Irawan. Every now and then, I spent my weekends with these lovely people above, or, other Indonesian students here /on a side note, I'm finally done with PPIU stuffs, the new board had been selected, yayness/. Also, the most important: since last month, I have a constant discussion fangirling session with Zia and Andhani who live ~50km away from me (yes, I checked it in Google). I do blame them for dragging me back to this dark infatuating world of kpop, but hey there are perks of being a fangirl. So, I stopped complaining and embracing it instead (this is 100% an excuse).

In mas Irawan words, I would say that these people I mentioned above just casually become my supporting system here, in the Netherlands. Being alone independent is awesome and all (also I need it to be actually productive), but I still need a hablumminannas. By talking vis-a-vis, not only by scrolling any social media, which recently drives us crazy with all the issues back in my home country (totally in different notes).

See, I am indeed an ambivert.

Okay, quick updates. What I've been up to recently:
1) The tailor made course is going slow, I have to submit a draft report next Monday, but I have, basically, the same draft as 2 weeks ago. Hmmmmmm.
2) I am 50% officially fixed to do an internship in City Blueprint by assessing Bandung (not Seoul, whyyy). There is a glimpse of hope that I can be involved in Seoul project. Maybe.
3) Another confession: I don't think I can get through a day without talking to Zia or Andhani these days /now that I'm writing it, that sounds super creepy/ Anyway, they gave me the best birthday present, in a very dramatic way (read Zia's story here). To be fair, Zia, I also cried and had a very conflicted feeling for the whole day.
4) I will be spending the Christmas holiday in Bianca's home and a road trip from north to south (-ish) of Romania. Wish us luuuck, we have two born and raised in tropical countries ladies here).
5) Not really an update, but I feel 50% guilty 50% relieved that I am not living in Indonesia right now. All the things happened there, just mindblowing. It left me speechless, and I'm afraid to write my opinion because everybody is super judgmental rn *insert sad laugh*

Turns out it's quite a comprehensive updates lol. But anyway, let's have group huuuug!

Cheers,
Noya

Keeping up with me

Hi, you!

I am writing a post now, finally, five months after my last entry. Was I too busy to stop doing activities and write here? Hmm not really, but the facts are; last June was full of deadlines before summer holiday; July and August were spent in delightful Indonesia; September was tensed because of .. a lot of things. It is mid-October already when life is at last adjusted with Universiteit Utrecht's pace-rhythm for a moment, just before the exam period is waiting in the corner of the month. Well, my bigger problem is, finding a thesis-internship, which is not difficult but definitely not easy. I am 80% excited with all these possible developments for my near future, and the rest of it is a mixed feeling of anxiety and desperateness hahaha.

Also, still in the realm of college life, I feel like my confidence (not that I usually have enough of it) is falling free stylishly from a cliff. As everyone knows, my academic English skill is not decent at all, but I feel like it becomes worse lately than ever. I guess, the perfect combination of two comments on my research proposal that said 'your grammar is lacking' and endless days of speaking that language made me even more inferior. Last year, I realized that I got so many back-ups with group projects (there would always be a final editor before report submission) that make my shortcoming stayed off the radar. However, now, with constant individual assignments (esp. with peer review), I need the urge to proof-read my paper before clicking that send/submit button. I also signed up for premium Grammarly and new academic writing class by PPI Utrecht, all in all for my Achilles heel.

Enough with the rambling, maybe I will just spam the rest of this post with pictures. Yes, pictures always cure!

Too much pictures? Indeed! The first one is what left from the Ramadhan dinner with Utrecht Moslem group (as Andri calls it), the second is my beloved family, the 3rd and  4th pictures are typical Indonesian tourist spots, 5-6-7th are the memory of visiting amazing Disneyland and Studios!  8th is the garden of Palais Het Loo (the one full of  Late Queen Wilhemina's vibe), while the rest are just me showing off my friend and I, strutting along Hoge Veluwe  

What else can I say here? Too many stories I want to share but my limited brain capacity to write in English won't take us any further. Oh, and I am going to Schiphol today, to bid a farewell to Puti, one of my closest friend in Utrecht :'( She is finished with everything and will fly back to Indonesia for good (at least for now). I'm losing my friend one by one.

Till we meet again,

Noya

Sweet dream are made of this

Yesterday, I watched four movies in a row as addition of wake up lazily (i.e. very late) in the morning and basically laid all day long on my bed. As usual, I regretted my decision to be such a couch potato on a quite sunny (and supposed to be productive) day thus I went to sleep with a determination to do better. But then.. here I am writing a post about how useless was my life yesterday instead of working on a stack of assignments that waiting for me gracefully. But really - in all of seriousness, these two courses I have for this block are not to be played with. June - particularly after the 2nd week - might be the death of me because there are at least 5 reports, 2 presentations, and 2 exams. Ok, let have anxiety attack again, writing about this. Both of the course are actually very interesting, one is about the legal framework (what, who, and how) that govern one's water resource. Thanks to this course, I figure out that Indonesian Law of UU No. 7/2004 about Water Resource is revoked, in the name of avoiding further privatization of water management. As I dwell more into the case of water allocation in Indonesia, now I realize that my insight about many issues are actually only on par with Jon Snow get the reference? eh-eh-eh? not funny? no? The other course is a bit technical on how you can treat water to get potable grade quality yet there are several points of chemistry are involved which made it more challenging to understand -- as it is my first time to learn (basic) chemistry with English ;) There are a lot of things I can complain about but hey, it never made anything better though. In addition of all those new knowledge I got from the courses, I learned another state-of-the-art perspective last week, about circular economy where you won't talk about cradle to grave cycle of life but it should be from cradle to cradle. Sounds like sustainability? It is!

On another report, last week, Irene, Ahma, and I had the chance to join pm2am trip to Switzerland where we visited Rhine Waterfall (ahey I went to the upstream part of the most talked river on my class), Lucerne, and Zurich. Those places were magical with majestic eternal snow in Alpen range as background and both Lucerne and Zurich lake up front as far as your eyes can observe. The trip was overall worth the price, since I only had to pay 65e for transportation (back and forth), yet the long duration you have to sit in the bus without any plug nor wifi was a bit torturing ahah.

well, Switzerland is beautiful and all but sure I won't make it to live there unless I inherit enough from a Sultan

Back to the movies I watched last Friday; I was actually needed an escape from reality for a moment thus four old school movies (80s-90s) were somehow succeeded to transform the ambiance around. The thing is, I watched those four movies with a very different plot and genre, in a row which of course caused one of the drawback as I couldn't absorb all those meaning and lingering feel after. The first movie is Fast Time in Ridgemont High (1982) with its usual conflict happened in 80s high school: normal girl that never have sex wants a boyfriend-finally have sex but not a proper boyfriend-having fun anyway-get pregnant-realize she did wrong-one decent guy helps her. Young Sean Penn is looked stoned as ever ahah, he is the highlight of the show. Second, I watched Beetlejuice (1988) where you fell in love with Alec Baldwin-Geena Davis-Winona Ryder as the protagonist and loath Michael Keaton as this naughty evil bio-exorcist (guess again? yes, it is human removal service who live in a haunted house). Anyway, I never know that Baldwin was such a gentleman during that days, in addition to his hot glasses nerd character which make it perfect. You're gonna love this if you want to reminisce Tim Burton style of art. Next, Groundhog Day (1993) is (maybe) one of the pioneer movie with its lead character stuck to relive one day over and over again. It may sounds so-so nowadays but it was fresh in 90s plus Bill Murray acting was on point both as a jerk and sincere person. Lastly, I decided to try Being John Malkovich (1999) which is directed by Spike Jonze.. which made me acknowledge of the amount weird/quirky/disturbing ideas here. The title explains everything, so lets just give credits on how genius John Cusack, Cameron Diaz, and Catherine Keener (she's such a babe, bad one) here. As I already stated before, the movie is disturbing (at least for me) but hey, I dont say it was not worth to watch.

The fact that less than 24hrs will be again a monday sure bugs me for the rest of the day. But anyway, Ramadlan is coming next week and I have to fast from 3am to 10pm (fighting!). May we all have the blessing of this holy month and become a better moslem in the process *spread the love in the air*

And I would like to give a shout out to Quicksilver (X-Men version): thanks for your scene in all the latest movie, it gives me life! *eurythmics on repeat

XOXO,

Noya