Being an Ambivert

Google says that ambivert means 'a person who has a balance of extrovert and introvert features in their personality.' I consider myself as an ambivert, which is a good thing, I suppose. Most of my friends say that I seem like a person who has a lot of friends, approachable, attentive in a conversation, smiles a lot, etc etc. They are not wrong of course, but like an introverted person, I also need the quality-me-time. Recently, the introvert side of me is dominating, maybe because all my lecture classes had ended in the last block, so now I only spend most of the day working on the reports and fangirling (over BTS, thanks to Zia and Andhani). Weird combination, but it exists lol. Anyway, my introverted side loves to work anywhere that is full of people, whether it's in a chatty area (i.e. canteen/cafe) or silent one (i.e. library), as long as they're not talking to me. (I think) I enjoy the presence of the others (read: human), but at the same time, I want to be alone. It feels different if you're really alone, physically. I tried that many times, and it is impossible to concentrate at all. Moreover, when you have an excellent wifi connection. At least, if you have many people around, you won't waste your time in youtube for 2 hours every 15 minutes (yes, it is possible). Another bit, ever since I live in the Netherlands, cycling aimlessly, strolling in the park and wandering around winkelcentrum became my habits. Those are my healing activities, going solo in public places.

Now, the extroverted side. Here goes a confession: I actually miss my classmates a lot. Like, a lot. Not missing the person (ehm), but I just get used to having them around at least 4 days a week. Bianca and I meet almost routinely at Pampalini (our favorite hanging spot), sometimes with Sara and Irene, but that's it. My Utrecht's inner circle only have 4 members in it. Otherwise, I devote my time in one of those study landscapes in Uithof and have a lunch break with Nisa, Cempaka, or sometimes mas Aan or mas Irawan. Every now and then, I spent my weekends with these lovely people above, or, other Indonesian students here /on a side note, I'm finally done with PPIU stuffs, the new board had been selected, yayness/. Also, the most important: since last month, I have a constant discussion fangirling session with Zia and Andhani who live ~50km away from me (yes, I checked it in Google). I do blame them for dragging me back to this dark infatuating world of kpop, but hey there are perks of being a fangirl. So, I stopped complaining and embracing it instead (this is 100% an excuse).

In mas Irawan words, I would say that these people I mentioned above just casually become my supporting system here, in the Netherlands. Being alone independent is awesome and all (also I need it to be actually productive), but I still need a hablumminannas. By talking vis-a-vis, not only by scrolling any social media, which recently drives us crazy with all the issues back in my home country (totally in different notes).

See, I am indeed an ambivert.

Okay, quick updates. What I've been up to recently:
1) The tailor made course is going slow, I have to submit a draft report next Monday, but I have, basically, the same draft as 2 weeks ago. Hmmmmmm.
2) I am 50% officially fixed to do an internship in City Blueprint by assessing Bandung (not Seoul, whyyy). There is a glimpse of hope that I can be involved in Seoul project. Maybe.
3) Another confession: I don't think I can get through a day without talking to Zia or Andhani these days /now that I'm writing it, that sounds super creepy/ Anyway, they gave me the best birthday present, in a very dramatic way (read Zia's story here). To be fair, Zia, I also cried and had a very conflicted feeling for the whole day.
4) I will be spending the Christmas holiday in Bianca's home and a road trip from north to south (-ish) of Romania. Wish us luuuck, we have two born and raised in tropical countries ladies here).
5) Not really an update, but I feel 50% guilty 50% relieved that I am not living in Indonesia right now. All the things happened there, just mindblowing. It left me speechless, and I'm afraid to write my opinion because everybody is super judgmental rn *insert sad laugh*

Turns out it's quite a comprehensive updates lol. But anyway, let's have group huuuug!

Cheers,
Noya