Being an Ambivert

Google says that ambivert means 'a person who has a balance of extrovert and introvert features in their personality.' I consider myself as an ambivert, which is a good thing, I suppose. Most of my friends say that I seem like a person who has a lot of friends, approachable, attentive in a conversation, smiles a lot, etc etc. They are not wrong of course, but like an introverted person, I also need the quality-me-time. Recently, the introvert side of me is dominating, maybe because all my lecture classes had ended in the last block, so now I only spend most of the day working on the reports and fangirling (over BTS, thanks to Zia and Andhani). Weird combination, but it exists lol. Anyway, my introverted side loves to work anywhere that is full of people, whether it's in a chatty area (i.e. canteen/cafe) or silent one (i.e. library), as long as they're not talking to me. (I think) I enjoy the presence of the others (read: human), but at the same time, I want to be alone. It feels different if you're really alone, physically. I tried that many times, and it is impossible to concentrate at all. Moreover, when you have an excellent wifi connection. At least, if you have many people around, you won't waste your time in youtube for 2 hours every 15 minutes (yes, it is possible). Another bit, ever since I live in the Netherlands, cycling aimlessly, strolling in the park and wandering around winkelcentrum became my habits. Those are my healing activities, going solo in public places.

Now, the extroverted side. Here goes a confession: I actually miss my classmates a lot. Like, a lot. Not missing the person (ehm), but I just get used to having them around at least 4 days a week. Bianca and I meet almost routinely at Pampalini (our favorite hanging spot), sometimes with Sara and Irene, but that's it. My Utrecht's inner circle only have 4 members in it. Otherwise, I devote my time in one of those study landscapes in Uithof and have a lunch break with Nisa, Cempaka, or sometimes mas Aan or mas Irawan. Every now and then, I spent my weekends with these lovely people above, or, other Indonesian students here /on a side note, I'm finally done with PPIU stuffs, the new board had been selected, yayness/. Also, the most important: since last month, I have a constant discussion fangirling session with Zia and Andhani who live ~50km away from me (yes, I checked it in Google). I do blame them for dragging me back to this dark infatuating world of kpop, but hey there are perks of being a fangirl. So, I stopped complaining and embracing it instead (this is 100% an excuse).

In mas Irawan words, I would say that these people I mentioned above just casually become my supporting system here, in the Netherlands. Being alone independent is awesome and all (also I need it to be actually productive), but I still need a hablumminannas. By talking vis-a-vis, not only by scrolling any social media, which recently drives us crazy with all the issues back in my home country (totally in different notes).

See, I am indeed an ambivert.

Okay, quick updates. What I've been up to recently:
1) The tailor made course is going slow, I have to submit a draft report next Monday, but I have, basically, the same draft as 2 weeks ago. Hmmmmmm.
2) I am 50% officially fixed to do an internship in City Blueprint by assessing Bandung (not Seoul, whyyy). There is a glimpse of hope that I can be involved in Seoul project. Maybe.
3) Another confession: I don't think I can get through a day without talking to Zia or Andhani these days /now that I'm writing it, that sounds super creepy/ Anyway, they gave me the best birthday present, in a very dramatic way (read Zia's story here). To be fair, Zia, I also cried and had a very conflicted feeling for the whole day.
4) I will be spending the Christmas holiday in Bianca's home and a road trip from north to south (-ish) of Romania. Wish us luuuck, we have two born and raised in tropical countries ladies here).
5) Not really an update, but I feel 50% guilty 50% relieved that I am not living in Indonesia right now. All the things happened there, just mindblowing. It left me speechless, and I'm afraid to write my opinion because everybody is super judgmental rn *insert sad laugh*

Turns out it's quite a comprehensive updates lol. But anyway, let's have group huuuug!

Cheers,
Noya

Keeping up with me

Hi, you!

I am writing a post now, finally, five months after my last entry. Was I too busy to stop doing activities and write here? Hmm not really, but the facts are; last June was full of deadlines before summer holiday; July and August were spent in delightful Indonesia; September was tensed because of .. a lot of things. It is mid-October already when life is at last adjusted with Universiteit Utrecht's pace-rhythm for a moment, just before the exam period is waiting in the corner of the month. Well, my bigger problem is, finding a thesis-internship, which is not difficult but definitely not easy. I am 80% excited with all these possible developments for my near future, and the rest of it is a mixed feeling of anxiety and desperateness hahaha.

Also, still in the realm of college life, I feel like my confidence (not that I usually have enough of it) is falling free stylishly from a cliff. As everyone knows, my academic English skill is not decent at all, but I feel like it becomes worse lately than ever. I guess, the perfect combination of two comments on my research proposal that said 'your grammar is lacking' and endless days of speaking that language made me even more inferior. Last year, I realized that I got so many back-ups with group projects (there would always be a final editor before report submission) that make my shortcoming stayed off the radar. However, now, with constant individual assignments (esp. with peer review), I need the urge to proof-read my paper before clicking that send/submit button. I also signed up for premium Grammarly and new academic writing class by PPI Utrecht, all in all for my Achilles heel.

Enough with the rambling, maybe I will just spam the rest of this post with pictures. Yes, pictures always cure!

Too much pictures? Indeed! The first one is what left from the Ramadhan dinner with Utrecht Moslem group (as Andri calls it), the second is my beloved family, the 3rd and  4th pictures are typical Indonesian tourist spots, 5-6-7th are the memory of visiting amazing Disneyland and Studios!  8th is the garden of Palais Het Loo (the one full of  Late Queen Wilhemina's vibe), while the rest are just me showing off my friend and I, strutting along Hoge Veluwe  

What else can I say here? Too many stories I want to share but my limited brain capacity to write in English won't take us any further. Oh, and I am going to Schiphol today, to bid a farewell to Puti, one of my closest friend in Utrecht :'( She is finished with everything and will fly back to Indonesia for good (at least for now). I'm losing my friend one by one.

Till we meet again,

Noya

Sweet dream are made of this

Yesterday, I watched four movies in a row as addition of wake up lazily (i.e. very late) in the morning and basically laid all day long on my bed. As usual, I regretted my decision to be such a couch potato on a quite sunny (and supposed to be productive) day thus I went to sleep with a determination to do better. But then.. here I am writing a post about how useless was my life yesterday instead of working on a stack of assignments that waiting for me gracefully. But really - in all of seriousness, these two courses I have for this block are not to be played with. June - particularly after the 2nd week - might be the death of me because there are at least 5 reports, 2 presentations, and 2 exams. Ok, let have anxiety attack again, writing about this. Both of the course are actually very interesting, one is about the legal framework (what, who, and how) that govern one's water resource. Thanks to this course, I figure out that Indonesian Law of UU No. 7/2004 about Water Resource is revoked, in the name of avoiding further privatization of water management. As I dwell more into the case of water allocation in Indonesia, now I realize that my insight about many issues are actually only on par with Jon Snow get the reference? eh-eh-eh? not funny? no? The other course is a bit technical on how you can treat water to get potable grade quality yet there are several points of chemistry are involved which made it more challenging to understand -- as it is my first time to learn (basic) chemistry with English ;) There are a lot of things I can complain about but hey, it never made anything better though. In addition of all those new knowledge I got from the courses, I learned another state-of-the-art perspective last week, about circular economy where you won't talk about cradle to grave cycle of life but it should be from cradle to cradle. Sounds like sustainability? It is!

On another report, last week, Irene, Ahma, and I had the chance to join pm2am trip to Switzerland where we visited Rhine Waterfall (ahey I went to the upstream part of the most talked river on my class), Lucerne, and Zurich. Those places were magical with majestic eternal snow in Alpen range as background and both Lucerne and Zurich lake up front as far as your eyes can observe. The trip was overall worth the price, since I only had to pay 65e for transportation (back and forth), yet the long duration you have to sit in the bus without any plug nor wifi was a bit torturing ahah.

well, Switzerland is beautiful and all but sure I won't make it to live there unless I inherit enough from a Sultan

Back to the movies I watched last Friday; I was actually needed an escape from reality for a moment thus four old school movies (80s-90s) were somehow succeeded to transform the ambiance around. The thing is, I watched those four movies with a very different plot and genre, in a row which of course caused one of the drawback as I couldn't absorb all those meaning and lingering feel after. The first movie is Fast Time in Ridgemont High (1982) with its usual conflict happened in 80s high school: normal girl that never have sex wants a boyfriend-finally have sex but not a proper boyfriend-having fun anyway-get pregnant-realize she did wrong-one decent guy helps her. Young Sean Penn is looked stoned as ever ahah, he is the highlight of the show. Second, I watched Beetlejuice (1988) where you fell in love with Alec Baldwin-Geena Davis-Winona Ryder as the protagonist and loath Michael Keaton as this naughty evil bio-exorcist (guess again? yes, it is human removal service who live in a haunted house). Anyway, I never know that Baldwin was such a gentleman during that days, in addition to his hot glasses nerd character which make it perfect. You're gonna love this if you want to reminisce Tim Burton style of art. Next, Groundhog Day (1993) is (maybe) one of the pioneer movie with its lead character stuck to relive one day over and over again. It may sounds so-so nowadays but it was fresh in 90s plus Bill Murray acting was on point both as a jerk and sincere person. Lastly, I decided to try Being John Malkovich (1999) which is directed by Spike Jonze.. which made me acknowledge of the amount weird/quirky/disturbing ideas here. The title explains everything, so lets just give credits on how genius John Cusack, Cameron Diaz, and Catherine Keener (she's such a babe, bad one) here. As I already stated before, the movie is disturbing (at least for me) but hey, I dont say it was not worth to watch.

The fact that less than 24hrs will be again a monday sure bugs me for the rest of the day. But anyway, Ramadlan is coming next week and I have to fast from 3am to 10pm (fighting!). May we all have the blessing of this holy month and become a better moslem in the process *spread the love in the air*

And I would like to give a shout out to Quicksilver (X-Men version): thanks for your scene in all the latest movie, it gives me life! *eurythmics on repeat

XOXO,

Noya 

What's the common between water, antonio gaudi, and detectives?

Ola amigos!

Yesterday I stumbled upon a personal blog of Dieni Fitriani (the chronology started from me cleaned up my gmail inbox, includes google+ folder, when it contained some new email about recommendation on 'what you missed from Dieni' thus I lurk into hers and spent almost 2-hours there). Afterward, it feels compulsory to write here (as usual ahah), well, after a period of my academic progress. What have I done so far? The third block of my master program just finished. I just received my final grade on one course titled Quantitative Water Management where I am Alhmadulillah passed with not so bad (but not so good either) grade. Moreover if you compare it to one of my classmate who achieved 9.5/10 for a final grade. Holycow! I have to keep reminding myself that I should be more thankful to at least meet the requirement for this course. My exam grade is free-falling but thank Lord I did okay on assignments, thus I passed! For the other course, Managing Future Delta, there was no exam, but we had to submit a 50-pages group paper and an abstract abstract (literal meaning of abstract, if you dont get it maybe bcs it is more like a inside joke of my class). We havent received any news about grade, but I am quite confident in this as my group consisted of silly but great people and we already spent so much time to work on the paper (long live Sunderbans!!!). On a side note, I actually love this course with broad scope in delta management but somehow focus on many things involved per-lecture. We also had excursions, twice; to southwest delta where krammersluice-brouwerdams-neeltjejans-maasvlakte is located and to zandmotor where the magic happens the Dutch again succeed to implement such out of the the box approach on their ecology friendly water defense. It was nice and all but dont get me to start complaining about how the weather always betray us. Oh the perks of living in the Netherlands. 

As in currently, I have again two courses which in more social side (Water Policy, Governance, and Law & Drinking Water and Sanitation). I started this period in a lighthearted mood after 10 days of day offs (that was too much holiday, actually) followed by a symposium about water management in TU Delft. The later one was so interesting eventhough it felt like a very long day full of lectures (there was 6 spokesperson) but I got so many new insights about water related challenges, some subject stroke me the most are the water and sanitation problem in disaster area (by Biserka, MSF consultant), urban design for city protection (by Kees Christiaanse, ps: when we had discussion with him, he thought that garuda plan in Jakarta Bay is a stupid idea), also a lecture about how to resolve water problem in conflicted area (remind me of Banglandesh-India dispute, Mr. Rens de Man). Lisanne and I had a great time there as well as motivational reflection on how to search suitable internship for me (dank je wel, Lisanne!). Anyway for the next part, please envyjoy the sightseeing from Madrid and Spain where I explored only in 4 days (not enouuuuugh!)

Madrid is fine but Barcelona steals our heart, thanks Mr. Gaudi to make this city sooo beautiful 

Since I had too many day off recently, I watched all new movies in the cinema, as well as, streaming some old movies online so.. one more rambling for this post, why is action/superhero movies (almost) always let me down recently? London Has Fallen, Huntsman: The Witch's War, Batman vs Superman, Capt. America: Civil War.. all of them failed me (in different aspect). Instead, movies like Zootropolis and The Jungle Book blown my mind (well, this is mainstream opinion). Also, I finished a fairly new k-drama titled 'Signal' where this time I finished it until the last episode, unlike the last time I, and million other people, lost interest in 'Cheese in The Trap'. It is one of the best drama I ever watched! Minimum cheesy romance, superb acting, and brilliant plot, who could say no to an amazing cold case-solving-detective storyline, eh? I really recommend this one :)

It seems I already write above my average word counts here, so.. lets part ways for now. And dont forget to be happy!

Ciao,

A. Noyara Rahmasary 

Growing up is not the problem

Forgetting is.

Some people might recognize this line along The Little Prince the movie, an animation works released last year based on the same titled novel. Truthfully, I have not read the book yet (I'll add it to my book's bucketlist) but after I watched this adaptation, and of course lurking on all those reviews, it seems that I should read one. Funny how I used to consider myself as book worm when there are just (very) few numbers of books stayed in my memory. The following post still revolves around the same theme of coping with adult life, which still take a form of big question mark that randomly pops during daydream. 

This barely new year of 2016 went well so far, at least for my movie quality time. I am now already on 18th in my movie list despite the start of school's third period a week ago. Somehow, the assignments are not killing me yet. The Little Prince is the latest movie I just watched today. As someone who didn't read the book, I enjoyed this animation that full of deep symbolism regarding one journey's to grow up. Well maybe not exactly defining the process you went through from child, teenager, then adult era; Nevertheless, toward the end of the movie, many elements of this movie just hit me hard within the reality realm, i.e. the restless and unprepared feeling to face adult-real-world. I know people get bored when I told them about this dubious theme of so called real world but today, at least, I got new input regarding this matter. One from this movie and other from my fully respected friend, Muharrom. 

(spoiler alert). At a brief moment after finishing the movie, people might be reminded of how tough adult life can be, as people get this idea from the movie that adult is created (or shaped) in a certain way which made them forget everything precious from childhood memories. Not to mention The Mother character who seemed a bit pushover with her perfect planning. I also agree with this opinion, because myself indeed having hard time accepting grown up's life path. But then I texted Muha, it was not 100% random because yesterday we dwelt upon our college life whatsoever (maybe because we were both feel so old and tired and sudden reminiscence afloat). I always believe him to give me advice, read: serious advice for life, hence I told that I just saw The Little Prince. Of course he had watched it and of course he had different idea on perceiving the movie. Instead, he adores The Little Girl and The Mother during their perfect and tight scheduled days.

Cool, mature, independent, problem solver, neat, never give up.. everything great about that little girl but those all ruined when she meets the neighbor grandpa, I was sad 

Creativity, dream, hobby, curiosity.. can stay as the child fragments of you but be like an adult when you have to be autonomous, rational, responsible.. 

I really don't know if I translate this in a right way, sorry Muha! Unsurprisingly, it is on our nature to continue a movie talk to a 'future' kind of conversation. Both of us (or maybe just me, actually) are go-with-the-flow-people which he said it made us slower than others to embrace the life learning. He then managed to continuously stabbed me with his thoughts (in a good way), like why can't I state a concrete purpose for my future; or successfully made me aware of an urgent need for a mentor I never have. Always a mind and heart opener, talking with him hahaha *empty laugh.

In the end, we came to the conclusion that I am indeed an effortlessly happy person who life her days without expectation, target, and evaluation *again empty laugh. Believe me, I am working on this attitude though. Well again, let us all pray to be useful creatures in our own way. I hate to always close a post with such cliche but what can I do, I have a cliche life ;) 

Warm hug (still in this cold windy weather),

Noya

P.S. I should really searching for a mentor

You in the trap

Hello 2016!

For some days recently, a sudden urge to write a post in this blog just appeared. Not sure why, but I guess it has something to do with my inward state (one of my besties has just married and another one was engaged yesterday), a gift I received from Hanna, and lastly the lingering feeling of my recent trip to Eastern Europe. It is not that I excessively adore the Budapest-Wien-Prague-Warszaw days yet that trip was somehow left a certain mixed feeling until now (or.. I am just being drama queen again).

Well, some of pictures above may seem like a distraction to balance what will be writen in the following. It will be a heavy too-much-feeling type of post with all the things centered around me. As usual. So what my life been up to? College? Yes ofcourse. Actually, the previous period was not that scary with all the assignment and everything. Eventhough my friend and I got 5.5 for Sustainability Science final paper but generally it went well. I am now going to start a new period, the third period which means entering 3/4 of my first year college life where up to this point I still had no idea what to do for my thesis, so classic right?  Last night, when I was actually prepared to read some material for the new course, I ended up in an online streaming website, watching Cheese in The Trap, yes that korean drama people recently hyped for. It was unintentional but it is interesting enough to make me stay awake until 5.00 AM and sleep like dead person until noon. That drama was not that special but some of the scenes are truly relatable, well because it depicts the life of Hong Seol, a 'normal' college student with her deadweight assignment. This is the first time I watched such drama that describes such rather right ambiance of a university daily struggle (compared to other makjang with focus only on the love-life). As a result, you might guess it already, I will dwell in this vibe of drama plot for a while.. imagining my days ahead with 'what if' condition. Anyway, the next course will demand such group cooperativeness (like one of Hong Seol case which ended with D as final grade *sigh) and quite big workload to investigate and analyse things, definitely make me shudder. But in the other side, I was wondering why I already complained about this kind of 'small' task when anyone else accomplished much bigger 'real' achievement as what I call 'pemuda harapan bangsa Indonesia', and here it is again, life is flowing okay but then I start searching for ripples lol. I should stop think only, need to take action instead, right?

Ok then, let me embrace the new period lightheartedly *hwaiting*

XOXO,
Noya

P.S. Today's hot topic is apparently the halftime show of 50th Super Bowl with Coldplay, Beyonce, and Bruno Mars. Hence, my blanket will be full of tears again tonight (ehm, maybe not tears but more like troubled feelings). Also, WINNER's Baby Baby will always be the death of me. 
P.P.S. I reread what I write above, it seems this post actually has no objectives dont you think? Hah, like I ever had one.